DECADENCE

As a little girl, Sundays were always my favorite day of the week. The collective energy of everyone giving themselves permission to go a little slower, rest, take it easy. To spend more time connecting, playing or adventuring.

Sunday’s were also designated special treat days, whether that was my Dad making his famous French crepes, my Mom busting out the Belgian Waffle Maker she bought at a yard sale and making Belgian waffles with strawberries and freshly whipped cream, or one of my parents picking up the Sunday paper and along with it delicious pastries (chocolate or almond croissant for me).

Today I felt like I just had the most decadent treat day, as I licked my fingers, I almost laughed at how different my version of a treat today is (don’t get me wrong, I still LOVE chocolate), but my treat today consisted of eating some insanely juicy figs from the Farmers market followed by my lunch of sweet potato avocado toasts with spicy hummus, cucumbers, carrots, micro greens and lemon juice. I realized as I finished how I was experiencing that same appreciation for something delicious. I noticed that everything on my plate including the truffle spiked hot sauce I added, was grown or made locally. The vibrancy and the vitality of the food added another dimension of pleasure. Connecting with the vendors at the market and feeling the love and joy that went into everything I bought assisted in the energetic transmission. Eating my lunch in my bikini top in the sun added another dimension of pleasure (naked is even better). When I was a private chef, it was always about finding little ways to elevate something simple without making it complicated or overshadowing the brilliance of what was already there. While I am so grateful those cooking days are over, I am grateful for my ability to elevate moments by finding something simple to add. To me this is how we can live a decadent life. It only has to feel decadent and make sense to us. What tastes, smells, looks or feel decadent and pleasurable to me, may be very different for you. That’s what is so beautiful about connecting into energy and being with the energetic experience of everything instead of in just the mind’s story about the thing. Being with the energy, is a choice to feel into everything. To be present and receive it all fully. All the layers and levels, all the codes and frequencies, all the vibrations, all the energetic information that all of life is communicating to us always. Food is a beautiful place to start to practice noticing energy but there are so many other places where this applies.

One of my favorite ways to bring myself into the feeling frequency is to do some Qigong or a standing meditation with movement, I have practices that I use from Donna Eden or from this book called the Chakra Workout, other times I apply the same methods to dance or yoga. When the teacher says to extend the energy out through my hands, I ask to feel the ground energetically lifting my hands up. I notice that when I ask to feel or receive the energy, everything becomes lighter, holding my arms up in warrior 2 for 5 minutes is effortless and I have moved beyond the mind and into the field of energetic information.

This applies to sex and to how you can open to a whole new way of engaging with your sexuality.
LOVE YOUR LIMITATIONS (make love to your limitations)

Get turned on by resistance, cold heartedness, perfectionism, unworthiness, not good enough, neediness, desperation, obsession, desire, dumbness, slowness, stupidity, fat, ugly, helpless, hopeless, apathetic, lazy, slow, too muchness, not caring, mean, bad, cold hearted bitch, victim, whiny, bad at letting go, bad at surrender and more!

Loving these energies, getting turned on by them and using orgasmic energy to blast them all with love. I let each energy turn me on, get me wet and I asked them to all come inside me, as I orgasmed I claimed how much I LOVED….(insert name of energy here)….I did this 3 times in a row, each orgasm radiating different parts of my body, obsessive energy is super hot, and don’t even get me started on neediness or not knowing how to surrender….insane!!! There is nothing like saying “I love that I don’t know how to surrender” while masturbating and on the verge of orgasm…the more I loved not knowing how to surrender the harder I came. This orgasm radiating and pulsed in my fingers and toes and shook my whole body like electricity. Some of the best self pleasure sessions I have ever had. I was dripping with divinity when I was done.

I felt a surge of euphoria and joy right after the orgasms. Then about 20 minutes later I hit a low point. I felt helpless, hopeless and like what was the point. I clearly didn’t know how to surrender, I wasn’t doing it right and maybe my self pleasure sessions were just another way my mind/Ego tricked me into “doing: something to fix “my problem” to fix me. I just sat on my couch, then sat on my bed and just sat. I said to Source and the Angels that I didn’t fucking know anything anymore. I was done trying, I was done working at being. Done working at letting go. Done caring about having partner, about having anybody love me, about having a life where I have it all. Accepting that this might be it was intense. It definitely brought up disappointment and sadness, but in it I could feel something starting open. Super super subtle. I can’t even tell you if I managed to surrender, all I know is that one moment I was feeling heavy, apathetic, uninspired, worthless, hopeless and then I wasn’t. I decided to practice some dance routines. I talked to a friend and then had a beautiful and powerful session with a client. More surrender. As I did some energy healing on her, I gave up my body to Source and said “I don’t know how to do this. You do it” I don’t know how to heal, you heal” “Work through me, I can’t do it. I don’t have control over this and I don’t care anymore. I don’t want to be in control. Source you be in charge, Be in charge of my love life, be in charge of my romantic life, be in charge of my health and wellness, my inspiration, my actions, my relationships, my money, fuck it, Source be in charge of my social media shares, my business, my website, my money, my work, my social life….Source you’re in charge.